1
00:00:10,197 --> 00:00:11,263
Wow! Bummer, dude.
2
00:00:11,264 --> 00:00:12,898
You have a time machine?
3
00:00:12,899 --> 00:00:15,868
And somehow, it got programmed
to this crap diner?
4
00:00:15,869 --> 00:00:18,938
I must admit, I am
quite taken with steampunk.
5
00:00:18,939 --> 00:00:21,906
Oh, steampunk, right.
I remember that trend.
6
00:00:21,907 --> 00:00:23,474
It happened for,
like, ten seconds
7
00:00:23,475 --> 00:00:26,444
back in 2000
and-are-you-kidding-me?
8
00:00:26,445 --> 00:00:28,146
Dude, seriously,
you're sitting
9
00:00:28,147 --> 00:00:29,948
in a public place
tap-tap-tapping
10
00:00:29,949 --> 00:00:31,316
on an oldie typewriter?
11
00:00:31,317 --> 00:00:32,951
What are you?
12
00:00:32,952 --> 00:00:35,320
In the league of extraordinarily
pretentious gentlemen?
13
00:00:35,321 --> 00:00:37,455
Aren't you being
a little aggressive?
14
00:00:37,456 --> 00:00:39,056
Yup.
15
00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:40,057
That's how people are
here in the present
16
00:00:40,058 --> 00:00:41,558
where we live.
17
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:42,960
But don't get me wrong.
18
00:00:42,961 --> 00:00:44,561
I'd like to go
back in time, too.
19
00:00:44,562 --> 00:00:47,331
Maybe stop 9/11 or that creep
who had sex on my shoe,
20
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:48,798
but I can't.
21
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,935
Present?
Where's that uniform from?
22
00:00:51,936 --> 00:00:53,503
Like, 1998?
23
00:00:53,504 --> 00:00:55,304
Oh, stop,
or I'm going to have
24
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,973
to shoot you
with a Smith and Wesson
25
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,976
I'm currently packing
in my bloomers.
26
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:04,347
I'll go get thee a menu,
my good man.
27
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:19,667
attention, everyone.
28
00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:22,003
Max and I have a little
late-night treat for you.
29
00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:23,838
Don't say it
all excited like that.
30
00:01:23,839 --> 00:01:26,641
Now when it's not drugs,
Earl's going to be pissed.
31
00:01:26,642 --> 00:01:30,010
You are invited
to a very important taste-test
32
00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:31,177
of Max's homemade cupcakes.
33
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,046
Okay,
but I will have only one.
34
00:01:33,047 --> 00:01:35,215
When I get a tummy,
single ladies call me Buddha
35
00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:38,351
and rub me for luck.
36
00:01:38,352 --> 00:01:41,021
I gotta watch out, too.
37
00:01:41,022 --> 00:01:43,289
Last time I had Max's
chocolate espresso cupcake
38
00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:44,389
before going home,
39
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:46,125
I was awake
till 5:00 A.M.,
40
00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:49,328
hand washing all my thongs.
41
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:56,401
doesn't mean there's
not swing in the sling.
42
00:01:56,402 --> 00:01:59,471
Oh, Caroline, darling.
Can you go back over there?
43
00:01:59,472 --> 00:02:01,239
I forgot my racing form.
44
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,876
Oh, horse racing?
It reminds me of Chestnut.
45
00:02:04,877 --> 00:02:07,912
Max... Chestnut.
46
00:02:07,913 --> 00:02:09,514
What's with the sad face?
47
00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:12,216
Your horse is living it up
at a fancy stable nearby.
48
00:02:12,217 --> 00:02:15,253
Not gone to the great stud farm
in the sky.
49
00:02:15,254 --> 00:02:18,355
Did someone say
"stud farm"?
50
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:24,061
My fee is $10 a quart or $15
if you want a boy.
51
00:02:25,864 --> 00:02:27,564
Wow.
52
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:30,233
You bounced back from your
Sophie breakup pretty quick.
53
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,701
It was not
a real breakup.
54
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,836
I will have her
very soon again.
55
00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:36,039
Right now, I lay low
and wait in bushes
56
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,075
like determined jungle cat.
57
00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:43,012
Or a rapist.
58
00:02:43,013 --> 00:02:45,614
Racing forms,
here you go.
59
00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:47,083
Earl,
maybe some time
60
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,583
you will take me out
to the track with you.
61
00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:50,852
I used to ride horses
all the time in Korea.
62
00:02:50,853 --> 00:02:52,420
The mechanical ones
for a quarter
63
00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:54,289
in front of
supermarkets?
64
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,725
Actually, Max,
I'm a very good rider.
65
00:02:56,726 --> 00:02:58,927
In fact, I was training
to be a jockey
66
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,362
but was too short.
67
00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:04,699
Too short
to be a jockey?
68
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,401
That's a hard hit,
my man.
69
00:03:07,402 --> 00:03:10,004
Han, I had no idea
you loved horses, too.
70
00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:11,772
Why didn't you
ever say anything?
71
00:03:11,773 --> 00:03:14,041
Well, why didn't you ever ask
about any of my interests?
72
00:03:14,042 --> 00:03:15,710
I'll tell you why.
73
00:03:15,711 --> 00:03:17,611
Because all you ever talk about
is "our cupcake business,"
74
00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:18,979
our cupcake business."
75
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:21,314
Doesn't your cd
have other tracks?
76
00:03:21,315 --> 00:03:22,882
Anyway,
our cupcake business
77
00:03:22,883 --> 00:03:24,784
has a very important
meeting tomorrow
78
00:03:24,785 --> 00:03:26,986
with Paul Platt,
the party planner.
79
00:03:26,987 --> 00:03:28,454
I know
a party planner, too.
80
00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:30,790
He sells J .Lo.
and Salma Hayek Pinatas
81
00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:33,126
off back of truck
for Cinco de Mayo.
82
00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:35,928
Awesome.
Put me down for a Hayek.
83
00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:38,463
More storage space
for candy.
84
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:41,333
Well, our party planner
is the it guy in Manhattan.
85
00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:42,634
And tomorrow,
Max and I are doing
86
00:03:42,635 --> 00:03:44,136
a tasting for him
at his office.
87
00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:49,307
How can someone be too short
to be a jockey?
88
00:03:49,308 --> 00:03:51,276
Isn't that
the whole point?
89
00:03:51,277 --> 00:03:54,746
Are you all right, Max?
90
00:03:54,747 --> 00:03:56,413
I got here
as fast as I could.
91
00:03:56,414 --> 00:03:58,149
Caroline texted me
to hurry over
92
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,951
because you didn't know
you were pregnant,
93
00:03:59,952 --> 00:04:01,252
and you were giving
birth over toilet.
94
00:04:01,253 --> 00:04:05,089
So I grabbed
my plunger and ran!
95
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:08,358
That is insane.
I never texted that.
96
00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:11,862
No, I did,
when I stole your phone.
97
00:04:11,863 --> 00:04:14,097
I needed a reason
to get Sophie over here.
98
00:04:14,098 --> 00:04:16,099
I can't believe
she believed it.
99
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,635
Oh, come on, Max.
Giving birth over toilet?
100
00:04:18,636 --> 00:04:22,105
That is very you.
101
00:04:22,106 --> 00:04:24,373
Now that you are here,
Sophie, sit.
102
00:04:24,374 --> 00:04:26,475
I want to tell you
something important.
103
00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:28,343
Well, you can forget that.
104
00:04:28,344 --> 00:04:30,112
There's no way
I'm going to stay.
105
00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:33,548
A cupcake party?
106
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:37,286
Oh, look, and this one
even has a pretzel in it.
107
00:04:37,287 --> 00:04:39,321
Yup, that's
our "salty n' spice"
108
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,889
for our more
adventurous customers.
109
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:43,191
Also for
the uptight white people,
110
00:04:43,192 --> 00:04:44,993
we have
the very, very vanilla
111
00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,529
which is... big surprise...
My favorite.
112
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,665
And this is our beer-batter
maple bacon
113
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,466
spring break cupcake.
114
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:57,070
That's for stoners,
and big surprise, my favorite.
115
00:04:57,071 --> 00:04:59,372
We can only
take four flavors
116
00:04:59,373 --> 00:05:01,208
to represent
our cupcake business.
117
00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:06,513
See? Not one word ever
about anyone else.
118
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:09,283
I have a pet ferret,
if anyone gives a damn.
119
00:05:09,284 --> 00:05:12,218
Well, I have
some big news
120
00:05:12,219 --> 00:05:14,420
I want to share with you
all as well.
121
00:05:14,421 --> 00:05:17,423
Sophie, that classy lady
right over there...
122
00:05:17,424 --> 00:05:21,828
Mm, I like this one.
123
00:05:21,829 --> 00:05:24,163
She recently
broke it off with me
124
00:05:24,164 --> 00:05:25,597
because she wanted
to be with a man
125
00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:27,766
who had a dream
and a drive.
126
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:30,202
So I have bought
a drive...
127
00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:32,070
A Lincoln town car.
128
00:05:32,071 --> 00:05:35,173
Yes, I have a new car service
and slogan:
129
00:05:35,174 --> 00:05:39,810
"Lie back and I will ride you
till you tell me to stop."
130
00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:45,916
So, oleg, you now have
a town car business?
131
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:48,752
And Sophie,
you rent town cars all the time.
132
00:05:48,753 --> 00:05:50,687
Oh, oh, please.
133
00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:53,257
I mean, I love pizza, too,
but that doesn't mean
134
00:05:53,258 --> 00:05:56,826
I have to marry papa John.
135
00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:01,597
I was just thinking,
you might want to come out back
136
00:06:01,598 --> 00:06:05,434
and take a look at the light-up
makeup mirror on visors.
137
00:06:05,435 --> 00:06:09,038
Light-up makeup mirror?
138
00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:11,740
Oh, I might be interested.
139
00:06:11,741 --> 00:06:13,942
But not just you and I.
140
00:06:13,943 --> 00:06:16,144
Han will come as well.
141
00:06:16,145 --> 00:06:19,214
Finally! Han is getting
invited to something.
142
00:06:19,215 --> 00:06:21,149
Other than LinkedIn.
143
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,886
- So much for the taste test.
- It's fine.
144
00:06:23,887 --> 00:06:25,754
I know what's best
for our cupcake business.
145
00:06:25,755 --> 00:06:27,521
I do say that a lot,
146
00:06:27,522 --> 00:06:29,156
but I think
it's kind of charming.
147
00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,224
I'll go get our coats.
148
00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:33,394
Mm, mm, mm.
Look at you.
149
00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:36,563
I must say, I'm impressed
with how far you've come.
150
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,232
Well, you burn
a few thousand cupcakes,
151
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:39,500
you're bound
to get better.
152
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:41,635
Not just the cupcakes, Max.
153
00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:43,236
Look how far you've come.
154
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,938
When I think of that girl
who came in here
155
00:06:44,939 --> 00:06:46,239
just looking to get by...
156
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,341
Hey, and check you out now.
157
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,945
Big, fancy meeting in Manhattan.
Lordy lord!
158
00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:54,014
- It's only a meeting, Earl.
- Maybe.
159
00:06:54,015 --> 00:06:56,516
But if you were
one of these horses,
160
00:06:56,517 --> 00:07:01,120
I'd put all
of my money on you, Max.
161
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,788
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
162
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,256
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
163
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,158
Paul Platt parties.
Please hold.
164
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,726
Poor kid.
165
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:08,928
If I had that job,
I'd be asking someone
166
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,030
to please hold a gun
to my head.
167
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,432
He's probably excited
to be working for Paul Platt.
168
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,799
Look at
all these magazines
169
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,001
calling him
the next Martha Stewart.
170
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,203
Someday, we'll have
articles about us.
171
00:07:19,204 --> 00:07:20,704
You know,
pictures of you and me
172
00:07:20,705 --> 00:07:21,705
standing outside
our country home.
173
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,274
Hold on.
174
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:27,011
We're rich and still
living together?
175
00:07:27,012 --> 00:07:29,180
Okay, she's leaving.
This is us.
176
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:30,847
About time.
177
00:07:30,848 --> 00:07:32,749
Been sitting here so long
my ass is asleep,
178
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:36,153
which kind of goes against
my theory that it won't quit.
179
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:38,555
Hi, Paul's going to be
a little longer.
180
00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:39,722
It's fine.
It's just...
181
00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:41,224
Paul Platt parties,
please hold.
182
00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:42,392
- Paul Platt parties...
- How much longer...
183
00:07:42,393 --> 00:07:45,395
- Please hold.
- Me or them?
184
00:07:45,396 --> 00:07:47,430
I got the ass
pins and needles.
185
00:07:47,431 --> 00:07:49,832
- Max.
- What? We're on hold.
186
00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:52,868
Have a seat.
Five more minutes.
187
00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,438
Paul Platt parties.
188
00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:56,672
The word "party"
at a party planner's?
189
00:07:56,673 --> 00:07:58,207
Little obvious.
190
00:07:58,208 --> 00:08:02,910
Like me having art that says
"will die alone."
191
00:08:02,911 --> 00:08:04,545
Wait.
192
00:08:04,546 --> 00:08:06,581
I think this is Johnny's art.
No way.
193
00:08:06,582 --> 00:08:09,150
"No way" is right.
Johnny's a nobody.
194
00:08:09,151 --> 00:08:11,386
Paul Platt wouldn't have
a framed "Johnny" in his office.
195
00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:13,989
Look, signed "j. Peg."
That's his tag.
196
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:15,957
Yo, what's the deal
with this art?
197
00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:17,492
It's a street artist.
198
00:08:17,493 --> 00:08:18,558
Everyone's getting
really into him now.
199
00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:20,094
Oh, yeah?
200
00:08:20,095 --> 00:08:24,598
He was trying to get into me
a few months ago.
201
00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:26,233
It was more emotional
than that.
202
00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:28,168
He cheated on
his girlfriend with her
203
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:29,436
and then blew her off.
204
00:08:29,437 --> 00:08:31,438
It was really hard
for us.
205
00:08:31,439 --> 00:08:33,240
And you thought
me slapping my ass
206
00:08:33,241 --> 00:08:36,109
in front of him
was inappropriate?
207
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:39,678
- Wow, Johnny made it.
- Well, good for him.
208
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,314
He's making it,
we're making it...
209
00:08:41,315 --> 00:08:42,615
We're making it?
210
00:08:42,616 --> 00:08:45,018
I magic-markered
over the scuffs on my boot,
211
00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:46,519
and we can't
even get past
212
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,755
the poor man's John Cusack
over there.
213
00:08:49,756 --> 00:08:51,990
Max, we are making it.
214
00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:53,591
We've come a long way.
215
00:08:53,592 --> 00:08:54,792
We haven't used
Starbucks napkins
216
00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:57,062
for toilet paper
in months.
217
00:08:57,063 --> 00:08:58,630
And now,
look where we are.
218
00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,133
We've got a meeting
with Paul Platt.
219
00:09:01,134 --> 00:09:03,468
"We're making it."
220
00:09:03,469 --> 00:09:05,270
I'm serious.
Say it, Max.
221
00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:06,370
We are making it.
222
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,971
Okay, we're making it.
223
00:09:07,972 --> 00:09:11,475
- Caroline channing.
- This is us!
224
00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:15,046
- Ahh.
- What, five more minutes?
225
00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:17,148
Monday at 4:00.
Something came up.
226
00:09:17,149 --> 00:09:19,283
Oh, okay.
Well, Monday at 4:00.
227
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,984
There's no Monday at 4:00.
228
00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:23,119
He said Monday at 4:00.
Monday at 4:00, right?
229
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,987
Absolutely.
Monday at 4:00.
230
00:09:24,988 --> 00:09:27,557
There is no Monday at 4:00.
231
00:09:27,558 --> 00:09:30,060
I'm confused.
Is there a Monday at 4:00?
232
00:09:30,061 --> 00:09:32,429
In the books, Monday at 4:00.
Paul can't wait.
233
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:35,031
There is
no Monday at 4:00.
234
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:38,000
I don't understand.
Are we coming in Monday at 4:00?
235
00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:40,001
Absolutely.
Paul's a big fan.
236
00:09:40,002 --> 00:09:43,105
Don't come in on Monday.
237
00:09:43,106 --> 00:09:45,574
Can you please tell me
what's going on?
238
00:09:45,575 --> 00:09:48,677
See, it's this news
about your father being moved
239
00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:51,447
to a cushy white collar
prison this week.
240
00:09:51,448 --> 00:09:53,215
Paul can't have anything to do
with someone named channing,
241
00:09:53,216 --> 00:09:56,016
'cause everyone
in New York is pissed.
242
00:09:56,017 --> 00:09:59,454
Look at all that.
It never stops.
243
00:09:59,455 --> 00:10:01,255
How much more of this
do I have to take?
244
00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:02,656
So we'll see you
on Monday!
245
00:10:02,657 --> 00:10:05,159
Don't come.
246
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,495
I woke my ass up
for this?
247
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:15,012
Mmm.
This was delicious, Max.
248
00:10:15,013 --> 00:10:17,381
Here's a $20.
Keep the change.
249
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:18,850
What are you doing,
Sophie?
250
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,451
You don't pay
for the cupcakes.
251
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:22,053
No, take it
for your business.
252
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:25,388
Ever since your big
party planner meeting went bust,
253
00:10:25,389 --> 00:10:26,890
I was worried
that you two girls
254
00:10:26,891 --> 00:10:29,592
might form
a joint suicide pact.
255
00:10:31,562 --> 00:10:35,065
Nah, we're
not that organized.
256
00:10:35,066 --> 00:10:37,567
So how's Caroline today?
257
00:10:37,568 --> 00:10:39,668
She's handling it all
better than I thought.
258
00:10:39,669 --> 00:10:41,170
She's with her father's
lawyer right now,
259
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:42,938
trying to figure out
the best time for her
260
00:10:42,939 --> 00:10:44,740
to go out to the prison
to see him before he's moved.
261
00:10:45,742 --> 00:10:49,178
Oh, that is my new phone.
262
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:53,916
You know there's a phone
stuck to that gay furby, right?
263
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:57,485
Yes, this is from my
favorite store on 14th street,
264
00:10:57,486 --> 00:10:59,653
rhinestoned.
265
00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:01,822
Oh, it's just a text
from my driver.
266
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:03,224
He's waiting out front.
267
00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:05,459
Why don't you
just invite oleg inside?
268
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:08,396
I'm not sure yet
he deserves to come inside.
269
00:11:08,397 --> 00:11:11,598
Well, from what I heard,
he's already come inside.
270
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:17,137
Oh, Max, I love it
when you're dirty!
271
00:11:17,138 --> 00:11:19,139
Hey, how'd it go?
272
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,840
Well, according
to my father's lawyer,
273
00:11:20,841 --> 00:11:22,976
the prison is surrounded
by so much press
274
00:11:22,977 --> 00:11:24,244
that daddy doesn't want me
to come out there
275
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:25,712
and be exploited
all over again.
276
00:11:25,713 --> 00:11:28,414
Why is he still
the only news story out there?
277
00:11:28,415 --> 00:11:30,883
Well, the good news is,
278
00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:33,953
your hair
is especially shiny today.
279
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,055
It is?
Thanks, Sophie.
280
00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:38,857
So try not
to kill yourself.
281
00:11:38,858 --> 00:11:42,295
Well, if I didn't kill myself
reading these in the car,
282
00:11:42,296 --> 00:11:44,396
I won't.
Hate mail.
283
00:11:44,397 --> 00:11:46,597
It was being held
at my old P.O. box.
284
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:49,034
My father's lawyer
picked it up for me.
285
00:11:49,035 --> 00:11:51,836
Why didn't he just punch you
in the face and call it a day?
286
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,039
I know, it's like the end of
miracle on 34th street,
287
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,574
only everyone's
calling me a bitch.
288
00:11:56,575 --> 00:11:59,977
Oh, come on, not everyone
is calling you a bitch.
289
00:11:59,978 --> 00:12:03,547
"Dear bitch,
I hate you."
290
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:07,050
"If I ever see you
on the street, I will..."
291
00:12:07,051 --> 00:12:09,285
Shake your hand
and wish you well,
292
00:12:09,286 --> 00:12:11,588
as you have been through
so very much.
293
00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,289
That is not
what that says.
294
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:14,791
It might be.
295
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:15,926
It's hard to read
his actual words,
296
00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:17,627
as they are
written in blood.
297
00:12:17,628 --> 00:12:21,731
Oh, look how fancy.
This is not hate mail.
298
00:12:21,732 --> 00:12:26,836
No, this is invitation to
metropolitan museum annual gala.
299
00:12:26,837 --> 00:12:28,437
It is?
300
00:12:28,438 --> 00:12:31,006
This is my favorite social event
in all of New York.
301
00:12:31,007 --> 00:12:33,509
I've gone every year
since I was 18.
302
00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:34,777
It's a fashion ball
at the museum of art...
303
00:12:34,778 --> 00:12:36,445
Yeah, I know
what it is.
304
00:12:36,446 --> 00:12:38,447
- I catered it last year.
- Max, how weird.
305
00:12:38,448 --> 00:12:40,515
We were probably
right in the very same room.
306
00:12:40,516 --> 00:12:43,585
Then there's a good chance
I spit in your drink.
307
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:46,488
Not really, unless you were
acting all prissy and demanding.
308
00:12:46,489 --> 00:12:48,823
There's a good chance
you spit in my drink.
309
00:12:48,824 --> 00:12:52,527
Well, see?
This is happy news.
310
00:12:52,528 --> 00:12:55,161
No, as much as I want to,
I can't go.
311
00:12:55,162 --> 00:12:56,530
Everybody hates me.
312
00:12:56,531 --> 00:12:59,165
And much worse,
I have nothing to wear,
313
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:02,302
and if you're gonna be hated,
you better look damn good.
314
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:06,172
I give up. That invitation
finally broke me.
315
00:13:06,173 --> 00:13:08,074
Why are you
pulling down your bed?
316
00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,276
Because I don't have
a door to slam.
317
00:13:10,277 --> 00:13:12,111
Hell, I don't even
have a door!
318
00:13:12,112 --> 00:13:14,146
Everything's
been taken away, Max...
319
00:13:14,147 --> 00:13:16,181
My fortune,
my business career,
320
00:13:16,182 --> 00:13:18,551
my social life,
my sweet, sweet horse.
321
00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:20,953
Okay, take a nap.
You're upset.
322
00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:22,154
You have
a good reason to be.
323
00:13:22,155 --> 00:13:24,023
A good reason?
324
00:13:24,024 --> 00:13:27,792
I say she has
200, 300 good reasons.
325
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,127
I mean, read these.
326
00:13:29,128 --> 00:13:32,130
These are like
letters to the devil.
327
00:13:32,131 --> 00:13:36,200
I'm just going to get in there
and never get out.
328
00:13:36,201 --> 00:13:38,302
Close it up, Max.
Put me in the wall.
329
00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:40,705
No, it's really hard to
close it when you're in there.
330
00:13:40,706 --> 00:13:42,306
I've tried.
331
00:13:42,307 --> 00:13:44,675
Look, I know
it's not even remotely close
332
00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:46,010
to what you had before,
333
00:13:46,011 --> 00:13:47,578
but we do have
our cupcake business
334
00:13:47,579 --> 00:13:51,849
and our purple stove,
and we do have $922.
335
00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:53,216
And we're gonna make it.
336
00:13:53,217 --> 00:13:57,220
Wall me.
337
00:13:57,221 --> 00:14:02,659
Come on, all you need
is a big, glamorous party.
338
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,594
I mean, look at
all the celebrities
339
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:07,664
Martha Stewart,
340
00:14:07,665 --> 00:14:09,532
Justin Timberlake...
341
00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:12,401
Ooh, Hugh Jackman!
342
00:14:12,402 --> 00:14:14,537
Oh, I like to call him
"huge" Jackman,
343
00:14:14,538 --> 00:14:17,272
because I bet
he has a big penis.
344
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:21,009
Wall me.
345
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:29,751
Thank you, sir.
346
00:14:29,752 --> 00:14:31,986
Welcome home, buddy.
347
00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:34,121
As you can see,
we haven't put the pool in yet.
348
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:35,623
We'll get to it.
349
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,593
Tree, grill, shovel...
Usual cast of characters.
350
00:14:38,594 --> 00:14:41,062
Now, I am going
to take you in to her,
351
00:14:41,063 --> 00:14:42,463
but I should warn you.
352
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,699
She hasn't been
out of bed for two days,
353
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,767
and that means no tooth brushing
and it's bad up in there.
354
00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:49,603
I'm pretty sure horses
have a keen sense of smell,
355
00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:51,104
so just be prepared.
356
00:14:52,974 --> 00:14:55,775
I missed you, too.
357
00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:02,748
Max, I'm trying to sleep.
Take your boots off.
358
00:15:02,749 --> 00:15:05,117
Caroline,
I have something for you.
359
00:15:05,118 --> 00:15:08,286
Go away.
I'm dead.
360
00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:12,390
Jeez, and you said
my breath was bad.
361
00:15:12,391 --> 00:15:14,893
You have a visitor,
someone you love.
362
00:15:16,663 --> 00:15:21,499
Chestnut!
Chestnut, hi, baby, hi.
363
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,234
How did he get here?
364
00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:24,769
I went to peach
and told her
365
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:25,970
it was a matter
of life and death
366
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:27,471
and we had
to have him back.
367
00:15:27,472 --> 00:15:29,507
And what,
she just gave him back to you?
368
00:15:29,508 --> 00:15:32,276
Well, I did have to agree
to come back and babysit
369
00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:34,278
one day a week
for the rest of my life,
370
00:15:34,279 --> 00:15:36,479
but hell, Chestnut's home.
371
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,182
Max, thank you so much.
You brought me back to life.
372
00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:40,817
Oh, my God,
don't exhale on me.
373
00:15:40,818 --> 00:15:43,419
Your breath is like you
went down on a brussels sprout.
374
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,656
Tip your head that way.
375
00:15:45,657 --> 00:15:48,091
Chestnut, Chestnut.
376
00:15:48,092 --> 00:15:49,993
Don't breathe
on him either!
377
00:15:49,994 --> 00:15:53,029
His whole head is a nose.
He can't handle that.
378
00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,766
Chestnut's home.
379
00:16:00,365 --> 00:16:01,465
Han, I'm so excited.
380
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:02,832
Did you hear
my horse is back?
381
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:05,201
This is
not conversation.
382
00:16:05,202 --> 00:16:07,203
This is just
the other thing you say.
383
00:16:07,204 --> 00:16:08,971
"My cupcake business,
my horse,
384
00:16:08,972 --> 00:16:11,440
my horse,
my cupcake business."
385
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:12,774
Well, in case
anyone's interested,
386
00:16:12,775 --> 00:16:15,911
my ferret's name
is Alvin.
387
00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:17,346
And Alvin's
telling his friends
388
00:16:17,347 --> 00:16:20,948
he has a pet named han.
389
00:16:20,949 --> 00:16:22,950
Hey, Earl.
Long time, no see.
390
00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,520
Well, well, well,
Johnny.
391
00:16:25,521 --> 00:16:27,455
If it isn't
the famous street artist.
392
00:16:27,456 --> 00:16:28,890
Well, I'm hardly famous.
393
00:16:28,891 --> 00:16:30,191
You got that right.
394
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:33,694
My remark was
laced with sarcasm.
395
00:16:33,695 --> 00:16:36,230
Can you tell Max
I'm here?
396
00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:39,233
That depends.
Are you still a two-timing bum?
397
00:16:39,234 --> 00:16:42,503
That's his name,
don't wear it out.
398
00:16:42,504 --> 00:16:43,904
Hiya, slugger.
399
00:16:43,905 --> 00:16:46,973
Can you do me a favor
and call Earl off?
400
00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:49,443
I may be on day six
of my p90x,
401
00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:52,378
but I'm in no shape to take on
a heavyweight like him.
402
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,114
It's okay, Earl, we're cool.
403
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,550
Well, I am.
He's just riding my fumes.
404
00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:59,718
So, uh,
where's your section?
405
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:04,352
- Counter.
- Hm, same ol', same ol'.
406
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,726
Johnny's in the diner.
407
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:11,063
Why is he here?
It can't be to eat.
408
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,932
He's "made it."
He eats "made it food" now.
409
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,501
Well, obviously,
he's here to see you.
410
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:19,037
Or else he won the award for
biggest lying jerk in New York,
411
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,440
and this is the first stop
on his press tour.
412
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,441
Well, I don't know
why he's here,
413
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,141
but you better
come with me.
414
00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:26,177
He looks really good,
so I'm not listening
415
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,812
to a thing coming out of
his pretty mouth.
416
00:17:30,348 --> 00:17:32,183
Well, I was gonna
ask what the specials were,
417
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,850
but you know what?
Can I actually just get
418
00:17:33,851 --> 00:17:35,219
one of Max's
homemade cupcakes?
419
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,222
- Okay, which flavor?
- Surprise me.
420
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,990
Kind of like how you surprised
her with your girlfriend?
421
00:17:40,991 --> 00:17:44,127
Okay, I'm starting
to get a vibe here,
422
00:17:44,128 --> 00:17:46,096
and that's why I came in,
because I feel bad,
423
00:17:46,097 --> 00:17:48,631
the way things
went down between us,
424
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,033
and I came to say good-bye
because I'm moving.
425
00:17:51,034 --> 00:17:53,035
Oh, moving.
To where?
426
00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:55,704
- Manhattan.
- Manhattan?
427
00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:57,839
That hardly calls
for a good-bye speech.
428
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,841
It's over there.
429
00:17:59,842 --> 00:18:01,977
Yeah, I know,
but it's a big change for me,
430
00:18:01,978 --> 00:18:03,044
and we're not going
to be rolling
431
00:18:03,045 --> 00:18:04,713
in the same circles
anymore,
432
00:18:04,714 --> 00:18:09,050
and I'm getting married...
Over there.
433
00:18:09,051 --> 00:18:11,719
Well, at least you and
your girlfriend worked it out.
434
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,087
Actually, we broke up.
435
00:18:13,088 --> 00:18:16,324
This is someone
I met a couple months ago.
436
00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:19,626
I was only
watching his lips,
437
00:18:19,627 --> 00:18:24,431
but did they just say
what I think they said?
438
00:18:24,432 --> 00:18:27,033
Well, there's your cupcake.
That'll be $5.
439
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:30,504
The price has gone up.
Yeah, we're successful now.
440
00:18:30,505 --> 00:18:33,507
In fact, we may be working
with Martha Stewart.
441
00:18:33,508 --> 00:18:35,774
Caroline knows her
from, you know, before.
442
00:18:35,775 --> 00:18:37,909
We're gonna talk it over
with her
443
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:40,579
at the met gala ball
that Caroline got invited to.
444
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:42,681
Martha's on the committee.
Caroline goes every year.
445
00:18:42,682 --> 00:18:44,483
Not a big deal.
446
00:18:44,484 --> 00:18:46,385
My first time.
Not a big deal either.
447
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,786
In fact, none of it's
a big deal,
448
00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:50,088
just two girls
who are making it
449
00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:53,691
but who choose to stay
in Brooklyn 'cause we're cool.
450
00:18:53,692 --> 00:18:56,060
That's awesome, Max.
That's awesome.
451
00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:57,629
It's just funny,
because whenever I think of you,
452
00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:01,932
I think of you in this diner
in that uniform.
453
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,668
In a good way.
454
00:19:07,305 --> 00:19:08,772
You want money now?
455
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,707
Yeah.
It's business.
456
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:13,510
It's not like we had
a relationship or anything.
457
00:19:13,511 --> 00:19:14,911
In fact,
you can pay Caroline.
458
00:19:14,912 --> 00:19:16,946
She's the money.
I'm the artist.
459
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,219
You know, I'm doing pretty
well as an artist myself.
460
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:24,119
I've been selling
a lot of my stuff.
461
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,222
Really?
We hadn't heard.
462
00:19:26,223 --> 00:19:28,123
And there's your cupcake.
463
00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:30,526
In case you didn't notice,
that container's to go.
464
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:32,261
Got it.
465
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,631
He's gone.
I got rid of him.
466
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,900
Max?
467
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,367
What are you doing?
468
00:19:39,368 --> 00:19:42,404
Punching cheesecakes.
469
00:19:42,405 --> 00:19:44,806
It's my version
of going to bed for two days.
470
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:46,040
Are you more upset
about the marriage thing
471
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:48,210
or the uniform thing?
472
00:19:48,211 --> 00:19:50,478
Oh, this isn't about Johnny.
I'm mad at the cheesecakes.
473
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:51,913
They were supposed
to have cherries on top,
474
00:19:51,914 --> 00:19:54,982
and I wanted cherries!
475
00:19:54,983 --> 00:19:58,985
Why not me?
476
00:19:58,986 --> 00:20:02,223
Okay, maybe it's half
no cherries, half Johnny.
477
00:20:02,224 --> 00:20:04,358
Nothing ever
does work out for us.
478
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,360
And then I hear myself saying
all that ridiculous stuff
479
00:20:06,361 --> 00:20:08,629
about us talking
to Martha Stewart at the gala.
480
00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,264
I mean, what was that?
It's insane.
481
00:20:10,265 --> 00:20:12,432
Is it?
482
00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:14,567
Wait, seriously, is it?
483
00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:17,069
Or is it just insane enough
to be genius?
484
00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:19,739
Max, we have the invitation.
She'll be there.
485
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,274
Why are we wasting our time
with Paul Platt
486
00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:22,709
when we can
meet the real thing?
487
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,444
We can take Martha
our best cupcake,
488
00:20:24,445 --> 00:20:25,911
explain our situation,
489
00:20:25,912 --> 00:20:27,912
and maybe...
Maybe she'll talk to us.
490
00:20:27,913 --> 00:20:29,748
I mean, she was a girl
with a dream once, too,
491
00:20:29,749 --> 00:20:33,418
and she certainly
understands hard times.
492
00:20:33,419 --> 00:20:36,355
You are talking about us
stalking Martha Stewart.
493
00:20:36,356 --> 00:20:40,191
I am talking about us
stalking Martha Stewart!
494
00:20:40,192 --> 00:20:43,261
I even have my gorgeous Judith
leiber jeweled cupcake purse
495
00:20:43,262 --> 00:20:45,195
to smuggle the cupcake in.
It's perfect.
496
00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:47,665
I knew there was a reason
I took that from the townhouse.
497
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:51,034
Great, you have a cupcake
and a cupcake purse.
498
00:20:51,035 --> 00:20:53,304
What else are we gonna
wear to the ball, cinderella?
499
00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:56,474
Are the rats in the alley gonna
whip us up some ball gowns?
500
00:20:56,475 --> 00:20:58,942
I mean, it's not exactly
like we have a fairy godmother.
501
00:20:58,943 --> 00:21:01,378
Hey, look, girls!
502
00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:07,384
I got myself a crown
and a wand at rhinestoned.
503
00:21:07,385 --> 00:21:11,020
I'll have the soup
in my booth.
504
00:21:14,158 --> 00:21:17,160
Well, this is as close
to a fairytale
505
00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,728
as you and I are ever gonna get,
so what the hell?
506
00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:21,230
Max, does that mean
we're gonna find
507
00:21:21,231 --> 00:21:22,531
a way to go to the ball?
508
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,334
Oh, yeah.
Get your cupcake on,
509
00:21:25,335 --> 00:21:29,138
'cause we're gonna
get balled.
510
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,376
Sophie, this is
so generous of you
511
00:21:36,377 --> 00:21:38,277
to offer to buy us dresses
for the gala,
512
00:21:38,278 --> 00:21:40,213
but as much as my shoes
love being back
513
00:21:40,214 --> 00:21:42,349
- in their place of birth...
- Oh, your shoes were born here?
514
00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:46,151
Mine were born in China,
but I adopted them at payless.
515
00:21:46,152 --> 00:21:47,786
Maybe we should
find something cheaper,
516
00:21:47,787 --> 00:21:49,488
at one of
those consignment stores.
517
00:21:49,489 --> 00:21:52,157
"Consignment stores"?
518
00:21:52,158 --> 00:21:54,393
Come on,
what are we, gypsies?
519
00:21:54,394 --> 00:21:58,196
This is big fancy ball.
We need ball gowns.
520
00:21:58,197 --> 00:22:00,198
Never really been
a fan of balls.
521
00:22:00,199 --> 00:22:01,799
In fact, always thought
they got in the way,
522
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,568
but here we are.
523
00:22:03,569 --> 00:22:05,370
Well, we do have
to look amazing
524
00:22:05,371 --> 00:22:07,405
if we're approaching
Martha Stewart with a cupcake,
525
00:22:07,406 --> 00:22:09,173
so we'll find
a way to pay you back
526
00:22:09,174 --> 00:22:11,676
and start by doing some
cleaning jobs for you for free.
527
00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:15,680
No! Every year
I give money to charity,
528
00:22:15,681 --> 00:22:17,147
and I like
you two girls
529
00:22:17,148 --> 00:22:20,584
way more than the babies
with the broken smiles.
530
00:22:20,585 --> 00:22:23,920
So don't worry.
I got plenty of cash.
531
00:22:23,921 --> 00:22:26,490
Aww, a roll of hundreds.
532
00:22:26,491 --> 00:22:29,726
Reminds me of my Christmas
stocking stuffers.
533
00:22:29,727 --> 00:22:32,662
Yeah, this is fun day.
534
00:22:32,663 --> 00:22:36,365
I'm like Richard Gere
and you're my two hookers.
535
00:22:36,366 --> 00:22:37,900
Well, when you put it
like that,
536
00:22:37,901 --> 00:22:40,536
I'm a little
more comfortable.
537
00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:42,805
Good afternoon.
How can I help you?
538
00:22:42,806 --> 00:22:45,741
Hi, how are you?
We don't have a lot of time.
539
00:22:45,742 --> 00:22:47,342
We have to be
at work by 6:00.
540
00:22:47,343 --> 00:22:49,577
Can you show us your best
formal spring couture?
541
00:22:49,578 --> 00:22:52,847
Perhaps you ladies
might be more comfortable
542
00:22:52,848 --> 00:22:54,348
down in ready-to-wear.
543
00:22:54,349 --> 00:22:56,451
As I said,
we're in a bit of a rush.
544
00:22:56,452 --> 00:22:58,520
We might move a little quicker
if you dropped the attitude
545
00:22:58,521 --> 00:23:00,955
and picked up
some dresses.
546
00:23:00,956 --> 00:23:04,158
Show her your wad.
547
00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:06,427
Let's look
at some dresses.
548
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:08,529
Yeah, and get us
some champagne,
549
00:23:08,530 --> 00:23:10,831
like in the movies.
550
00:23:10,832 --> 00:23:13,133
♪ The patron, own,
let's go get it on ♪
551
00:23:13,134 --> 00:23:14,768
♪ the zone, own,
yes, I'm in the zone ♪
552
00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:16,870
♪ is it two, three,
leave a good tip ♪
553
00:23:16,871 --> 00:23:18,204
♪ I'm-a blow off my money
and don't give two...♪
554
00:23:18,205 --> 00:23:20,206
♪ I'm on the floor,
floor ♪
555
00:23:20,207 --> 00:23:21,874
♪ I love to dance ♪
556
00:23:21,875 --> 00:23:24,544
♪ so give me more, more ♪
557
00:23:24,545 --> 00:23:25,611
♪ till I can't stand ♪
558
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:28,047
♪ get on the floor, floor ♪
559
00:23:28,048 --> 00:23:29,582
♪ like it's your last chance ♪
560
00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,884
♪ if you want more, more ♪
561
00:23:31,885 --> 00:23:34,386
♪ then here I am ♪
562
00:23:34,387 --> 00:23:38,423
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
563
00:23:38,424 --> 00:23:42,360
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
564
00:23:42,361 --> 00:23:46,064
♪ can't stop,
'cause we're so high ♪
565
00:23:46,065 --> 00:23:49,634
♪ let's do this
one more time ♪
566
00:23:49,635 --> 00:23:54,072
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
567
00:23:54,073 --> 00:23:57,508
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
568
00:23:57,509 --> 00:24:00,911
♪ let's do this
one last time ♪
569
00:24:00,912 --> 00:24:02,413
♪ hands up ♪
570
00:24:02,414 --> 00:24:05,316
♪ we're higher than
a mother...♪
571
00:24:10,421 --> 00:24:12,422
♪ higher than a mother...♪
572
00:24:12,423 --> 00:24:14,124
♪ jump in my hoopty
hoopty hoop ♪
573
00:24:14,125 --> 00:24:15,859
♪ I own that ♪
574
00:24:15,860 --> 00:24:17,927
♪ and I ain't paying
my rent this month ♪
575
00:24:17,928 --> 00:24:19,829
♪ I owe that ♪
576
00:24:19,830 --> 00:24:21,831
♪ but... who you want
and... who you like ♪
577
00:24:21,832 --> 00:24:23,766
♪ dance your life,
there's no end in sight ♪
578
00:24:23,767 --> 00:24:26,335
♪ twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪
579
00:24:26,336 --> 00:24:28,304
♪ now, everybody,
let me hear you say ♪
580
00:24:28,305 --> 00:24:32,008
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
581
00:24:32,009 --> 00:24:35,544
♪ hands up
and touch the sky ♪
582
00:24:35,545 --> 00:24:39,948
♪ starships
were meant to fly ♪
583
00:24:39,949 --> 00:24:43,651
♪ hands up,
and touch the sky ♪
584
00:24:43,652 --> 00:24:46,154
♪ let's do this
one more time ♪
585
00:24:46,155 --> 00:24:48,723
♪ oh oh oh ♪
586
00:24:52,161 --> 00:24:55,730
One, two.
587
00:24:55,731 --> 00:24:58,765
Han, did you just go up
on your tiptoes like a big boy?
588
00:24:58,766 --> 00:25:01,368
Well, I wasn't expecting
a photo opportunity.
589
00:25:01,369 --> 00:25:03,570
And I left my tom cruise
man-heels at home.
590
00:25:03,571 --> 00:25:05,172
Max, give him a break.
591
00:25:05,173 --> 00:25:07,374
This is a man who was
too short to be a jockey.
592
00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:08,509
Oleg, give me your camera.
593
00:25:08,510 --> 00:25:09,976
I must approve picture.
594
00:25:09,977 --> 00:25:11,745
We've taken it
three times already.
595
00:25:11,746 --> 00:25:14,680
Han, if you want
a nip slip, just ask.
596
00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:17,283
My dress is too pretty
for this conversation,
597
00:25:17,284 --> 00:25:19,718
so I'm gonna go get the cupcake
from the refrigerator.
598
00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:23,056
And I'm going to warm up
my new town car for the ladies.
599
00:25:23,057 --> 00:25:25,458
New?
600
00:25:25,459 --> 00:25:28,727
What is this, 2002?
601
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:30,262
I hope so,
602
00:25:30,263 --> 00:25:32,664
then I will have chance
to meet you for first time
603
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:34,766
all over again.
604
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:38,670
Now this is not
professional driver talk.
605
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:41,673
Hey, fancy ball Buster,
what's your deal?
606
00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:43,108
You told him to get
a dream and a drive,
607
00:25:43,109 --> 00:25:44,276
and he did.
608
00:25:44,277 --> 00:25:46,677
Max, I have two sore spots.
609
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,745
Trusting men and...
610
00:25:48,746 --> 00:25:50,081
And here, where that
crazy Jamaican
611
00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,516
wove my extensions
too tight.
612
00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,552
I'm thinking I should wait
to put the cupcake
613
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,587
in the cupcake purse
till we get out of the car.
614
00:25:56,588 --> 00:25:58,355
We want our beer batter
maple bacon cupcake
615
00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:00,124
to represent
our cupcake business.
616
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:01,625
We have a new record.
617
00:26:01,626 --> 00:26:05,928
She cupcake four times
in one speech.
618
00:26:05,929 --> 00:26:07,697
We should go.
Upper East Side from Brooklyn
619
00:26:07,698 --> 00:26:09,565
at this time of day
is crazy.
620
00:26:09,566 --> 00:26:11,400
But we came in here
to show Earl.
621
00:26:11,401 --> 00:26:12,601
Maybe Earl decided
not to come
622
00:26:12,602 --> 00:26:14,103
since he had the night off.
623
00:26:14,104 --> 00:26:16,205
Max, we really should
be there at the start.
624
00:26:16,206 --> 00:26:18,840
That's prime Martha Stewart
stalking time.
625
00:26:18,841 --> 00:26:20,209
You're right.
And Martha will probably
626
00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:21,577
have to leave early
to get up to bake;
627
00:26:21,578 --> 00:26:23,579
A little something
I knows about.
628
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:25,513
The only difference
between Martha and I
629
00:26:25,514 --> 00:26:26,947
is she probably doesn't
have to worry about
630
00:26:26,948 --> 00:26:28,416
waking up her roommate
who lives
631
00:26:28,417 --> 00:26:29,717
four feet from the oven.
632
00:26:29,718 --> 00:26:32,620
But otherwise, twinsies!
633
00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:38,593
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
634
00:26:38,594 --> 00:26:40,528
Earl, slow down,
your heart.
635
00:26:40,529 --> 00:26:41,628
Sorry I'm late, ladies.
636
00:26:41,629 --> 00:26:43,396
But if I run any faster,
the cops
637
00:26:43,397 --> 00:26:46,266
tend to pull guns on me.
638
00:26:46,267 --> 00:26:47,734
Got held up
at the florist shop,
639
00:26:47,735 --> 00:26:49,902
but I made it.
Here you go, ladies.
640
00:26:49,903 --> 00:26:52,839
Aww, Earl,
you got us flowers?
641
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,207
Wrist corsages.
642
00:26:54,208 --> 00:26:55,542
I hope they're still
in style.
643
00:26:55,543 --> 00:26:57,143
They're a classic, Earl.
644
00:26:57,144 --> 00:26:58,644
Like you.
645
00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:04,683
Mmm, that was
worth the run.
646
00:27:04,684 --> 00:27:05,817
Let's go, ladies.
647
00:27:05,818 --> 00:27:08,787
Oleg is waiting
to drive you.
648
00:27:08,788 --> 00:27:11,690
And you drive me crazy.
649
00:27:11,691 --> 00:27:13,991
Yeah, yeah.
Tell it to the marines.
650
00:27:13,992 --> 00:27:15,693
Here, Earl,
take my phone.
651
00:27:15,694 --> 00:27:18,496
I can't fit it
in the purse with my cupcake.
652
00:27:18,497 --> 00:27:20,698
Have the best time
in the world.
653
00:27:20,699 --> 00:27:23,134
And say hello
to "huge" Jackman for me.
654
00:27:32,677 --> 00:27:34,778
That is not a good sign.
655
00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:37,347
That car is smoking harder
than Bob Marley
656
00:27:37,348 --> 00:27:40,016
on a rasta holiday.
657
00:27:43,983 --> 00:27:46,760
Sophie, if my cousin Yuri
said he would be here
658
00:27:46,761 --> 00:27:48,695
in half hour
with parts to fix,
659
00:27:48,696 --> 00:27:50,663
he will be here
in half hour.
660
00:27:50,664 --> 00:27:51,831
Actually, it's been
40 minutes.
661
00:27:51,832 --> 00:27:53,733
Your cousin is like you.
662
00:27:53,734 --> 00:27:57,103
- He takes too long to come.
- Oh, this is news.
663
00:27:57,104 --> 00:27:59,939
Suddenly a woman
wants a man to finish fast.
664
00:27:59,940 --> 00:28:01,407
Oh, please.
665
00:28:01,408 --> 00:28:03,575
Sex is not
a carnival cruise.
666
00:28:03,576 --> 00:28:04,777
I'm a busy woman.
667
00:28:04,778 --> 00:28:07,012
You get on,
you get off.
668
00:28:07,013 --> 00:28:08,881
Can I get a hit off that?
669
00:28:08,882 --> 00:28:10,949
We'll just have to wait,
I guess.
670
00:28:10,950 --> 00:28:13,452
I mean, if I still lived
in Manhattan, I'd hail a cab.
671
00:28:13,453 --> 00:28:15,921
But that's not gonna happen
out here in the boondocks!
672
00:28:15,922 --> 00:28:17,755
Plus, even if we could
afford a cab,
673
00:28:17,756 --> 00:28:20,124
we'd be stuck forever
in rush hour gridlock.
674
00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:21,459
Could you take it down
a notch?
675
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:22,760
Hipsters are starting
to look at us
676
00:28:22,761 --> 00:28:24,695
like we're trying too hard.
677
00:28:24,696 --> 00:28:26,230
Where did han go?
678
00:28:26,231 --> 00:28:27,799
He said he might
have a plan.
679
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,868
Oh, my lord and Taylor!
680
00:28:42,313 --> 00:28:45,381
That little mother
can ride.
681
00:28:51,822 --> 00:28:55,458
You two look like
two princesses in a fairy tale.
682
00:28:55,459 --> 00:28:56,959
Are you feeling safe?
683
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,393
I couldn't feel any safer
684
00:28:58,394 --> 00:29:00,830
if we were riding
a rubber into town.
685
00:29:00,831 --> 00:29:02,397
Here we go.
Bye, guys.
686
00:29:02,398 --> 00:29:05,467
- Bye.
- Go, Chestnut!
687
00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:17,679
Oh, check it out.
You see what I see?
688
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,347
Hello, officers.
689
00:29:19,348 --> 00:29:20,914
We're on way to the ball
down the street,
690
00:29:20,915 --> 00:29:22,215
and we were wondering
if we could please leave
691
00:29:22,216 --> 00:29:23,884
our horse with your horses?
692
00:29:23,885 --> 00:29:25,218
And I can save you
the time
693
00:29:25,219 --> 00:29:26,520
on the breathalyzer test;
694
00:29:26,521 --> 00:29:28,221
No, we are not drunk
695
00:29:28,222 --> 00:29:30,323
or on some bachelorette
party scavenger hunt.
696
00:29:30,324 --> 00:29:31,725
Our car broke down
in Brooklyn,
697
00:29:31,726 --> 00:29:33,494
so we rode over
the Brooklyn bridge and up.
698
00:29:33,495 --> 00:29:36,196
You rode a horse
across the Brooklyn bridge?
699
00:29:36,197 --> 00:29:38,163
That's badass.
700
00:29:38,164 --> 00:29:40,432
Yes...
And illegal.
701
00:29:40,433 --> 00:29:42,768
In that case,
we took the tunnel.
702
00:29:42,769 --> 00:29:45,337
Well, I think we can help
you two ladies.
703
00:29:45,338 --> 00:29:47,507
Not gonna happen, Dave.
We're on duty.
704
00:29:47,508 --> 00:29:49,475
Officers, we're already
a little late.
705
00:29:49,476 --> 00:29:51,176
And with all due respect,
we don't have time
706
00:29:51,177 --> 00:29:52,777
to play good cop,
bad cop.
707
00:29:52,778 --> 00:29:56,180
Or in your cases,
hot cop, hot cop.
708
00:29:56,181 --> 00:29:58,984
Well, I think we can help
you ladies.
709
00:29:58,985 --> 00:30:00,519
Let's get you down
off of there.
710
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,087
I got the one
in the low-cut.
711
00:30:03,088 --> 00:30:07,125
Thanks officer hot
and officer hotter.
712
00:30:07,126 --> 00:30:08,926
You know I'm officer hotter,
right?
713
00:30:08,927 --> 00:30:10,293
Oh, come on, man.
Have you seen me
714
00:30:10,294 --> 00:30:13,196
in my sunglasses?
No contest.
715
00:30:17,769 --> 00:30:19,670
Max, I'm really impressed
with how well
716
00:30:19,671 --> 00:30:21,471
you're maneuvering around
in that long skirt.
717
00:30:21,472 --> 00:30:24,607
Yeah, I was a serving wench
at a medieval times restaurant.
718
00:30:24,608 --> 00:30:26,142
It's a breeze
when I'm not carrying
719
00:30:26,143 --> 00:30:29,445
a tray loaded
with Turkey legs and ale.
720
00:30:29,446 --> 00:30:31,280
There's the "will call"
table.
721
00:30:31,281 --> 00:30:33,149
Walk in front
and I'll hide behind you,
722
00:30:33,150 --> 00:30:35,685
as I'm the most hated woman
in New York.
723
00:30:35,686 --> 00:30:37,386
So basically,
I'm a human shield?
724
00:30:37,387 --> 00:30:40,456
Well, you have more up here
to stop anything.
725
00:30:41,991 --> 00:30:43,124
- Max!
- What?
726
00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:44,325
Did someone pull a gun?
727
00:30:44,326 --> 00:30:46,061
I knew that
was gonna happen.
728
00:30:46,062 --> 00:30:47,829
No, I screamed because
I saw the couple
729
00:30:47,830 --> 00:30:51,099
whose sworn statement
put my father in prison.
730
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:52,400
Max!
731
00:30:52,401 --> 00:30:53,769
Acid in your pretty face?
732
00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,470
Sorry, I stayed up
all night reading
733
00:30:55,471 --> 00:30:57,738
what people want to do
to you in your hate mail.
734
00:30:57,739 --> 00:30:59,574
What was it?
735
00:30:59,575 --> 00:31:02,476
I went down so fast,
I may have smeared my cupcake.
736
00:31:02,477 --> 00:31:05,546
That's the filthiest sounding
clean thing I ever heard.
737
00:31:05,547 --> 00:31:07,481
It's fine. Good.
738
00:31:07,482 --> 00:31:09,516
Now let's go get those cheap
plastic security bracelets
739
00:31:09,517 --> 00:31:13,186
that ruin
our expensive gowns.
740
00:31:13,187 --> 00:31:15,088
- Can I get your name?
- Caroline...
741
00:31:15,089 --> 00:31:16,355
Channing.
742
00:31:16,356 --> 00:31:17,657
I'm sorry, what?
743
00:31:17,658 --> 00:31:18,658
Caroline...
744
00:31:18,659 --> 00:31:20,259
Channing.
745
00:31:20,260 --> 00:31:21,962
What's with you?
Just say your name.
746
00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,329
Channing.
747
00:31:23,330 --> 00:31:26,265
Did you say channing?
Caroline channing?
748
00:31:26,266 --> 00:31:29,434
Wait, are you
that Caroline channing?
749
00:31:29,435 --> 00:31:32,204
Shh, yes, and I personally
called the R.S.V.P. number.
750
00:31:32,205 --> 00:31:33,505
It has to be there.
751
00:31:33,506 --> 00:31:36,075
Channing,
channing, channing...
752
00:31:36,076 --> 00:31:38,276
No, I don't see
"Caroline channing."
753
00:31:38,277 --> 00:31:40,378
Shh.
Maybe it's under my name.
754
00:31:40,379 --> 00:31:42,180
Max black.
I'm with her.
755
00:31:42,181 --> 00:31:45,717
Black... no, no, no,
I don't see any blacks here.
756
00:31:45,718 --> 00:31:48,720
You mean besides
the ones working security?
757
00:31:48,721 --> 00:31:52,023
Let me check with Paul Platt,
the party planner.
758
00:31:52,024 --> 00:31:53,491
He's on the phone
with him right now.
759
00:31:53,492 --> 00:31:57,028
- Hey, Brody.
- Oh, no.
760
00:31:57,029 --> 00:31:59,631
There's a problem
with the list.
761
00:31:59,632 --> 00:32:01,698
She's not on it.
Her.
762
00:32:01,699 --> 00:32:03,867
- Caroline channing.
- Sh
763
00:32:03,868 --> 00:32:05,201
Paul, I've got
Caroline channing,
764
00:32:05,202 --> 00:32:06,737
and she's not on the list.
765
00:32:06,738 --> 00:32:09,973
If everybody in this line
could just wait until
766
00:32:09,974 --> 00:32:13,677
we get the Caroline channing
situation under control...
767
00:32:13,678 --> 00:32:16,246
If you say "channing"
one more time,
768
00:32:16,247 --> 00:32:18,514
I'm going to actually
pull your voice box out.
769
00:32:18,515 --> 00:32:20,983
And its s so much
more violent than it sounds.
770
00:32:20,984 --> 00:32:22,451
Yes, Paul,
I'll tell them.
771
00:32:22,452 --> 00:32:23,819
There's been
a little mix-up.
772
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:25,254
Five more minutes
will get you right in.
773
00:32:25,255 --> 00:32:28,824
You're not getting in.
774
00:32:28,825 --> 00:32:31,894
Well, that's it.
We tried.
775
00:32:31,895 --> 00:32:33,594
- We gave it our best shot.
- Oh, no.
776
00:32:33,595 --> 00:32:35,496
This is the closest
I have ever gotten
777
00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:37,899
to anything in my life
almost working out.
778
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:40,434
- We are not giving up.
- How are we getting in?
779
00:32:40,435 --> 00:32:43,071
- Security's everywhere.
- Yeah, out here,
780
00:32:43,072 --> 00:32:44,539
but not
at the servers' entrance.
781
00:32:44,540 --> 00:32:46,174
I catered this
last year.
782
00:32:46,175 --> 00:32:47,909
That's right,
we're going backdoor.
783
00:32:49,911 --> 00:32:51,344
Ooh!
784
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:54,682
That lady
just punched me.
785
00:32:54,683 --> 00:32:57,851
I knew
that was gonna happen!
786
00:33:05,092 --> 00:33:07,727
So you can
just walk in here?
787
00:33:07,728 --> 00:33:09,696
Anyone can
just walk right in?
788
00:33:09,697 --> 00:33:11,363
Well, it helps
that last year
789
00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:12,932
I made out with
the tent flap guard, Rico,
790
00:33:12,933 --> 00:33:14,901
but basically,
yeah, anyone.
791
00:33:14,902 --> 00:33:16,435
When I think
of all the times
792
00:33:16,436 --> 00:33:18,370
I left my purse
on a table here unattended,
793
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:21,139
I shudder...
Shudder.
794
00:33:21,140 --> 00:33:23,608
Okay, so we can't
get in the actual building
795
00:33:23,609 --> 00:33:25,110
without being caterers,
796
00:33:25,111 --> 00:33:26,411
so we have to change
into those uniforms.
797
00:33:26,412 --> 00:33:27,746
Wait.
798
00:33:27,747 --> 00:33:28,879
You never mentioned
anything about
799
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,414
a rent-a-clothes
situation.
800
00:33:30,415 --> 00:33:33,117
Small price to pay
for us making it.
801
00:33:33,118 --> 00:33:37,722
Is it? Is it
a small price to pay?
802
00:33:39,991 --> 00:33:42,693
Hurry, we have
a superstar to stalk!
803
00:33:42,694 --> 00:33:44,961
I thought I would hate it,
but I'm kind of into it.
804
00:33:44,962 --> 00:33:46,629
I'm very Janelle Monae.
805
00:33:46,630 --> 00:33:49,332
No, you're Janelle
I-have-no-Monae.
806
00:33:49,333 --> 00:33:51,400
What are we going to do
with our dresses?
807
00:33:51,401 --> 00:33:53,236
We can't leave them out here.
I need them inside.
808
00:33:53,237 --> 00:33:55,171
I have to look amazing
when I meet Martha Stewart.
809
00:33:55,172 --> 00:33:57,006
What does it matter
what we're wearing?
810
00:33:57,007 --> 00:33:58,608
We're still going to be
the two crazy girls
811
00:33:58,609 --> 00:34:00,643
chasing her down
with a cupcake.
812
00:34:00,644 --> 00:34:03,112
- That's why it matters.
- Oh, ooh!
813
00:34:03,113 --> 00:34:04,512
I know.
Here.
814
00:34:04,513 --> 00:34:05,881
Help me get
the shelves out of this.
815
00:34:05,882 --> 00:34:07,116
We can hang
our dresses in here
816
00:34:07,117 --> 00:34:08,984
and push them in.
Brilliant.
817
00:34:08,985 --> 00:34:11,286
Kind of like the Louis Vuitton
travel wardrobe I used to have.
818
00:34:11,287 --> 00:34:15,124
Or the service elevator
I was born in.
819
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:18,659
Coming through, hot food.
820
00:34:18,660 --> 00:34:20,527
Look out, very hot!
Man, it's hot.
821
00:34:20,528 --> 00:34:21,796
You're a waiter,
not a weatherman.
822
00:34:21,797 --> 00:34:23,430
Hey, pretty girls,
823
00:34:23,431 --> 00:34:25,767
I like the way you push around
that big steel box
824
00:34:25,768 --> 00:34:29,036
why don't you come over here
and I'll have sex with you?
825
00:34:29,037 --> 00:34:32,206
A display like that
really makes you appreciate
826
00:34:32,207 --> 00:34:34,074
oleg's nuanced wit.
827
00:34:36,443 --> 00:34:38,812
Okay, let's go right
to the ladies room
828
00:34:38,813 --> 00:34:40,046
so we can change.
829
00:34:40,047 --> 00:34:42,816
Is it that way
or that way?
830
00:34:42,817 --> 00:34:43,950
What?
831
00:34:43,951 --> 00:34:45,351
Shh, Johnny!
832
00:34:45,352 --> 00:34:47,520
How'd he get invited?
833
00:34:47,521 --> 00:34:49,588
This used to be
an exclusive event.
834
00:34:49,589 --> 00:34:50,856
He's "made it,"
835
00:34:50,857 --> 00:34:52,557
he goes where
"made it" people go.
836
00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:54,526
Why are we hiding
from that lowlife?
837
00:34:54,527 --> 00:34:57,196
If he sees me
in another waiter uniform,
838
00:34:57,197 --> 00:34:59,198
I'm the sad girl
always in the uniform.
839
00:34:59,199 --> 00:35:00,966
If he sees me
in that dress at the ball,
840
00:35:00,967 --> 00:35:02,001
he can suck it.
841
00:35:02,002 --> 00:35:05,904
Ladies room, that way.
842
00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:12,110
The ladies room
is right down here.
843
00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:15,579
Push harder. Harder!
844
00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:17,816
Do you want Martha
to see you dressed like that?
845
00:35:17,817 --> 00:35:19,317
- Move! Coming through!
- Excuse us.
846
00:35:19,318 --> 00:35:21,685
Food emergency.
847
00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:23,020
Fingers, fingers,
fingers, fingers.
848
00:35:23,021 --> 00:35:24,521
Coming through,
coming through.
849
00:35:24,522 --> 00:35:25,755
- Excuse us.
- Look alive, red!
850
00:35:25,756 --> 00:35:28,258
- I almost hit you.
- Hold up.
851
00:35:28,259 --> 00:35:30,227
Now just hold up.
What is going on right now?
852
00:35:30,228 --> 00:35:31,795
You can't bring
food in here.
853
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:33,964
Oh, it's not food.
That would be weird.
854
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,300
It's dresses.
We have to change into these,
855
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:37,766
'cause she has this guy
she wants to impress,
856
00:35:37,767 --> 00:35:39,168
and I have to change
into it
857
00:35:39,169 --> 00:35:41,003
because I'm stalking
Martha Stewart.
858
00:35:41,004 --> 00:35:43,739
Ooh, I'd be
a terrible spy.
859
00:35:43,740 --> 00:35:45,107
Usually I don't get
the long stories
860
00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:46,408
till the end of the night,
861
00:35:46,409 --> 00:35:47,877
and by then,
the girls are crying
862
00:35:47,878 --> 00:35:50,479
and begging me
for Wisdom and tic tacs.
863
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,848
I'll go first.
864
00:35:51,849 --> 00:35:53,381
I have to get two of these
in one dress.
865
00:35:53,382 --> 00:35:55,317
Miss, do you have
a shoehorn?
866
00:36:01,761 --> 00:36:04,963
Come on,
chanel shoes!
867
00:36:04,964 --> 00:36:08,266
Come on,
chanel knockoffs.
868
00:36:08,267 --> 00:36:09,468
Why are you
not dressed yet?
869
00:36:09,469 --> 00:36:11,703
'Cause ladies take forever.
870
00:36:11,704 --> 00:36:13,738
It's all the spanx.
871
00:36:13,739 --> 00:36:16,475
Well, go, use my stall.
I want to go stick my head out,
872
00:36:16,476 --> 00:36:19,943
and see if I
can scope out Johnny.
873
00:36:19,944 --> 00:36:22,079
No, ma'am, no!
Not fair, ma'am.
874
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,047
Try the handicapper.
This side.
875
00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:26,317
Good idea.
876
00:36:26,318 --> 00:36:30,354
I cannot
get a break tonight.
877
00:36:33,057 --> 00:36:36,492
- Psst, yo, Max.
- Johnny!
878
00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:38,427
Who are you looking for?
879
00:36:38,428 --> 00:36:40,462
The Dominos guy.
880
00:36:40,463 --> 00:36:42,064
I was hiding in there,
'cause five more minutes,
881
00:36:42,065 --> 00:36:43,666
the pizza's free.
882
00:36:43,667 --> 00:36:45,801
I was hoping
I'd run into you.
883
00:36:45,802 --> 00:36:47,169
Eh, no big deal.
884
00:36:47,170 --> 00:36:49,238
Pretty big deal.
You look amazing.
885
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:53,307
Amazing. I will go
as far as amaze-balls.
886
00:36:53,308 --> 00:36:54,943
Thanks.
887
00:36:54,944 --> 00:36:56,344
You look like a guy
in a commercial
888
00:36:56,345 --> 00:36:59,080
who has a ring and puppy
hidden somewhere.
889
00:36:59,081 --> 00:37:00,749
Can you believe it?
890
00:37:00,750 --> 00:37:02,550
We're both
at this shmancy thing.
891
00:37:02,551 --> 00:37:04,019
Look how far we've gotten.
892
00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:06,487
Actually,
when you think about it,
893
00:37:06,488 --> 00:37:10,758
we didn't get
very far at all.
894
00:37:10,759 --> 00:37:12,693
Nope, you're right.
We didn't.
895
00:37:12,694 --> 00:37:16,797
Yeah, why?
896
00:37:16,798 --> 00:37:18,966
Timing, I guess.
897
00:37:18,967 --> 00:37:22,002
Timing?
898
00:37:22,003 --> 00:37:23,436
Okay, whatever.
899
00:37:23,437 --> 00:37:26,739
You know, from now on,
when I think of you,
900
00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:30,009
I'm gonna think of you in this
and not the uniform.
901
00:37:31,478 --> 00:37:33,179
You know,
from now on,
902
00:37:33,180 --> 00:37:37,116
maybe you shouldn't
think of me at all.
903
00:37:37,117 --> 00:37:38,751
Gotta go,
Mr. Manhattan.
904
00:37:42,155 --> 00:37:45,123
That was awesome!
Caroline, where are you?
905
00:37:45,124 --> 00:37:46,524
I'm almost dressed.
906
00:37:46,525 --> 00:37:49,227
I just had the perfect
in-your-face good-bye
907
00:37:49,228 --> 00:37:50,461
with Johnny.
908
00:37:50,462 --> 00:37:52,931
And speaking of
"in your face,"
909
00:37:52,932 --> 00:37:55,200
he couldn't take his eyes
off my boobs...
910
00:37:55,201 --> 00:37:57,134
Boobs that
he can never have,
911
00:37:57,135 --> 00:38:00,470
now that
he's getting married.
912
00:38:02,974 --> 00:38:05,142
Damn, girl, you look good.
What you doing later?
913
00:38:05,143 --> 00:38:10,681
Can I get your number?
914
00:38:10,682 --> 00:38:14,317
Oh, no, the cupcake got
a little smushed in my purse.
915
00:38:14,318 --> 00:38:16,986
We can't show this
to Martha Stewart now.
916
00:38:16,987 --> 00:38:18,554
Sure, we can.
917
00:38:18,555 --> 00:38:19,756
You think she never
had a cupcake smush on her?
918
00:38:19,757 --> 00:38:21,390
I doubt that very much.
919
00:38:21,391 --> 00:38:23,259
Martha Stewart
is perfect.
920
00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:25,128
Her feet don't even
touch the ground.
921
00:38:25,129 --> 00:38:27,030
The woman probably doesn't
even go to the bathroom.
922
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:33,001
Martha Stewart's
hardly perfect.
923
00:38:33,002 --> 00:38:35,137
And how are you
this evening?
924
00:38:35,138 --> 00:38:37,339
No, you're right,
Martha Stewart isn't perfect.
925
00:38:37,340 --> 00:38:39,574
Oh, I never said that!
926
00:38:39,575 --> 00:38:43,278
In fact, I hear
she's a real ballbuster.
927
00:38:43,279 --> 00:38:44,612
You did not hear that.
928
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:46,547
Yep, a real ballbuster,
you know?
929
00:38:46,548 --> 00:38:48,182
No, I do not know.
930
00:38:48,183 --> 00:38:53,354
Would you mind handing me
a towelette please?
931
00:38:53,355 --> 00:38:55,623
Oh, one's fine.
Thank you so much.
932
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:57,959
But the fact that Martha
Stewart is so tough...
933
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,926
Caroline, you need
to get out here right now.
934
00:38:59,927 --> 00:39:03,196
The fact that she
is a real ballbuster...
935
00:39:03,197 --> 00:39:05,031
Oh, dear God, help me.
936
00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:06,699
Is what I like
and respect about her.
937
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:08,368
I mean,
the woman's a genius.
938
00:39:08,369 --> 00:39:10,871
Now it's getting
interesting.
939
00:39:10,872 --> 00:39:12,305
And besides, you can't
really believe gossip.
940
00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:13,573
Look at all
that hate mail I got
941
00:39:13,574 --> 00:39:15,275
with people
calling me a bitch,
942
00:39:15,276 --> 00:39:16,809
and I'm not a bitch.
943
00:39:16,810 --> 00:39:19,245
Well, that's debatable.
944
00:39:19,246 --> 00:39:22,514
- Martha Stewart, hi.
- Hello.
945
00:39:22,515 --> 00:39:25,050
I'm Caroline, and this is
my business partner, Max,
946
00:39:25,051 --> 00:39:26,786
and we have
a start-up cupcake business.
947
00:39:26,787 --> 00:39:29,655
Dude, are you serious?
You're still going for it.
948
00:39:29,656 --> 00:39:31,290
I know this is
highly inappropriate,
949
00:39:31,291 --> 00:39:32,824
but we brought
a cupcake here tonight
950
00:39:32,825 --> 00:39:34,325
in hopes that
you might taste it.
951
00:39:34,326 --> 00:39:36,560
So you want me
to taste your cupcake
952
00:39:36,561 --> 00:39:38,062
in the ladies room.
953
00:39:38,063 --> 00:39:40,331
What's inappropriate
about that?
954
00:39:40,332 --> 00:39:42,801
We're a start-up business.
We've got to take risks.
955
00:39:42,802 --> 00:39:44,169
This is Max.
She's the baker.
956
00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:45,536
You're the baker.
957
00:39:45,537 --> 00:39:47,772
I'm the baker.
958
00:39:47,773 --> 00:39:49,406
Hm, it looks
quite appealing.
959
00:39:49,407 --> 00:39:51,775
Oh, my God.
960
00:39:51,776 --> 00:39:53,376
I know this
is a social event,
961
00:39:53,377 --> 00:39:55,578
so I'm so sorry
for making it about business.
962
00:39:55,579 --> 00:39:56,947
When you're in business
for yourself,
963
00:39:56,948 --> 00:39:58,748
you have
to take every situation
964
00:39:58,749 --> 00:40:00,583
as a business opportunity.
965
00:40:00,584 --> 00:40:04,520
Look, I have
five of these in here.
966
00:40:04,521 --> 00:40:07,523
I love your magazine.
967
00:40:07,524 --> 00:40:09,391
I read every single issue
968
00:40:09,392 --> 00:40:12,695
until they realized I didn't
even go to that doctor.
969
00:40:12,696 --> 00:40:14,663
Well, in spite
of the fact
970
00:40:14,664 --> 00:40:16,699
that you have not
yet washed your hands...
971
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:18,667
I was just changing
my dress in there.
972
00:40:18,668 --> 00:40:20,601
- I'll taste it.
- You will?
973
00:40:20,602 --> 00:40:23,238
I like
your entrepreneurial drive.
974
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,440
And I have a feeling
that it's actually
975
00:40:25,441 --> 00:40:27,675
the only way I'm gonna
get out of here alive.
976
00:40:27,676 --> 00:40:32,314
That is our beer batter maple
bacon spring break cupcake.
977
00:40:32,315 --> 00:40:34,950
- Hm, clever name.
- Thank you.
978
00:40:34,951 --> 00:40:36,616
It is a little smushed,
though. That's unfortunate.
979
00:40:36,617 --> 00:40:40,287
I told you.
980
00:40:42,790 --> 00:40:44,691
Mmm.
Quite tasty.
981
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:47,027
I like it.
982
00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:49,529
Do you girls have a card?
983
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:53,299
Get it out, get it out,
get it out.
984
00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:56,135
Ah, thank you very much.
985
00:40:56,136 --> 00:40:58,604
"Max's homemade cupcakes."
986
00:40:58,605 --> 00:41:01,540
Well, you know who'd
really like that cupcake?
987
00:41:01,541 --> 00:41:03,642
Stoners.
988
00:41:05,479 --> 00:41:08,413
She said
"Max's homemade cupcakes."
989
00:41:08,414 --> 00:41:11,750
Martha Stewart
likes our cupcakes!
990
00:41:11,751 --> 00:41:15,354
Martha Stewart
likes our cupcakes!
991
00:41:15,404 --> 00:41:19,954
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